I Don't Doubt You!
by CallsT
Summary: Something's wrong with Gordon and Virgil is trying to figure out what it is.


„Right!"

„Left!"

„Stay left!"

„Center!"

„That's not center, Virgil!"

Gordon was trying desperately to navigate his brother through the minefield, yet Virgil managed to hit one of the mines and Thunderbird 2 shook badly, nearly throwing Gordon out of his seat. He silently thanked god and Brains for the harnesses keeping him in place.

Then he looked back at the map of the minefield and gasped in horror:

„Virgil, to the right!"

But it was too late. They hit another mine. The map went flying. Virgil went flying as well. The harness did catch him, but not before he hit his head on the dashboard. Hard. It knocked him out. Gordon panicked. Alan was in the sickbay, Virgil was out, they were in the middle of the minefield … and they were going down!

He reached for the control stick fast, and managed to stop the fall; only to fly into another mine. It hit the sickbay. He didn't know how he knew it, but he knew.  
 _Nononono_ , he thought, _not Alan!_ Suddenly he felt helpless. He knew he couldn't manage the situation all by himself, he knew they were going to crash.

 _We are going to die! I can't save them!_

 **„NO!"**

He cried out at the top of his lungs, tears running down his face. Then there was light, bright light. And something soft against his face. Strong arms wrapped around him and held him tight.

* * *

„Shh, Gordon, it's okay, it was just a nightmare," Virgil was telling him, gently rocking him in his arms.

He's been painting in his room, and just left for the kitchen to make himself a midnight snack, when he heard strange noises coming from Gordon's room. It sounded like dog barking. Then he heard his own name and carefully opened the door. What he saw was Gordon entangled in his blankets, tossing around wildly, sweat mixing with tears on his face and streaming down his neck. He stood there, taken aback with shock, and then Gordon screamed and Virgil hurried to his side, cradling him into his arms and waking him up softly.

Gordon was shaking badly. He was disoriented and still scared to death. He stared at Virgil for a moment like he never seen him before. He was trying desperately to catch his breath. Virgil kept mumbling calming words to him. At least he hoped they were calming.

„Virg?" Gordon finally asked.

„Yeah, it's me, little bro. Everything's fine, you're safe."

Gordon buried his head into Virgil's shoulder for a moment, trying to wake up properly from the nightmare, trying to believe Virgil that everything was fine. After a while his breathing evened out, and he straightened himself to look Virgil in the face.

„Well, this is embarrassing," he laughed still a little shakily.

„Not at all," Virgil assured him. „Wanna tell me what the dream was about?"

For a moment Gordon looked like a deer caught in a headlight, then he blinked rapidly and looked away.

„I can't remember," he lied.

„C'mon, Gords, I can tell when you're lying!" Virgil tried to look hurt.

„Then I'd rather not talk about it." Gordon still didn't look up at Virgil.

Virgil thought about it for a while, then he said:

„Ok, let's make a deal. I'll leave it now, but if the nightmare comes haunting you again, you tell me, ok?"

Now it was Gordon's time for thinking. He didn't want Virgil to get the nightmare wrong, especially after what happened earlier that week. But he knew no matter how he told the story, Virgil would blame himself. Well, probably he won't have the nightmare again. Or he won't let Virgil catch him.

„Deal," he said and smiled reassuringly at his older brother. „Thanks for waking me up, Virg," he squeezed Virgil's hand, then let go and fell back into his bed.

„No problem. Just don't forget the deal." Virgil ruffled his hair, switched of the light and stopped at the door just to say „Good night!" to seemingly already sleeping Gordon.

* * *

The next day Gordon was extremely nice to Virgil. He even fixed him a breakfast and helped him with work on Thunderbird 2.

"You know, I'm no telltale, I won't tell the guys," Virgil smiled at him when they were alone in the hangar.

"Of course you're _not_! I wouldn't dare think anything like that about you! I'm just trying to _thank you_ here, so shut up and take it!"

That was suspicious. And it was screaming _prank_ out loud. Virgil couldn't help himself looking around, waiting for something to jump on him.

Then he shook his head. He shut up and took it.

"All right," he said with a small smile.

* * *

That night Gordon went to bed early. Virgil left the door to his room open, so he would hear if his little brother was having any trouble. And sure enough, soon he heard the familiar barking. And barking it was, indeed. Gordon's been barking orders. Directions. _To him!_ But why?

Virgil silently entered Gordon's room and closed the door behind him. Since he knew where the nightmare led to, he decided it'd be better to wake Gordon up rather sooner than later. He shook the youngster lightly. Gordon opened his eyes wide and gasped, then he hid his face in his hands.

"Hey, it's okay," Virgil started, but Gordon cut him off.

"No, no, no, it's not okay!" he wailed.

"Gordon, what's wrong?" Virgil was perplexed by Gordon's reaction.

"I never should have said _deal_ to you!" Gordon tried to bury himself deeper into his mattress or preferably disappear.

Virgil had a _huh!_ moment. This he didn't expect.

"Well, now that you mention it," he said grumpily and pried Gordon's hands off his face, so he could look him in the eye. Gordon looked devastated.

"You'll get this all wrong! Please don't get this wrong!" Gordon begged him.

"Well, try me," Virgil huffed, not understanding what was going on.

Gordon sighed and started telling his brother what the nightmare was about.

Virgil paled at least three shades hearing the story. His breath was ragged.

* * *

He did suspect that the nightmare had something to do with Gordon's concussion, but not in this way…

It was a gloomy Monday afternoon and they were heading back from the rescue. They were rescuing some hikers lost in the mist, who found shelter in a cave. And got lost in it as well. The mist was so thick Alan actually ran into the wall of that cave and broke his nose. Gordon couldn't stop laughing and happily accompanied Alan in the sickbay, so he could laugh at him some more.

Virgil did not laugh, though. He's been enjoying relatively calm weekend and didn't seem to be able to part with it so easily, so he painted the whole night. Now he was tired and imagining all the ways Scott would kill him if he knew. And while he was in no mood for Gordon's jokes, he didn't want Alan to suffer more than he had to.

"Gordon!" he barked into the intercom "Let the Sprout rest and come help me up here!"

"Really?" Gordon moaned, and Virgil stopped him firmly before he could protest some more. "Really."

Then he waited. The sky was grey and thick as a big warm blanket… Then there was a jolt and a thud. Virgil woke up fully immediately. Wide eyed, he turned around to see what the thud was about. Then he gasped and set Thunderbird 2 on autopilot, cursing silently to himself _I should have done this right away!_

Gordon lied sprawled on the deck, blood trickling from his head. Virgil hurried to his side, checked his pulse, and took in a breath for the first time since he saw Gordon there. He gave him a quick checkup and relaxed a bit when he found nothing but the bump on the head. Anyway, Gordon was unconscious and it was his fault.

* * *

Now Virgil was looking desperately at his younger brother. Gordon did not trust him with Thunderbird 2 anymore after what happened! He was scared and having nightmares because of him, because of what happened, because of what he caused to happen!

So he started blabbering.

"You woke up in the infirmary, I thought you wouldn't know…" he trailed of, then started again "You know I won't do anything like that again! Scott made sure of that! If I weren't so tired he would have yelled at me whole night!"

A pause. Deep breath. Then he continued.

"I fell asleep and I won't do it again. I was tired, I did not sleep at all the night before, but it has nothing to do with my flying skills. I'm sorry I hurt you! But you don't have to doubt me. You don't have to be afraid. Gords, I'm so sorry, so sorry! It won't happen again, I promise!"

Virgil fell into some kind of a loop, and Gordon was trying desperately to get him out of it. Whole the time, he's been waving his hands frantically at his brother, trying to break the monologue, trying to get his attention, and failing. Now he gripped Virgil's hands hard and forced him to look him in the eyes.

"I told you you'll get it all wrong!" he told Virgil fiercely. "Stop apologizing, will you? You did that enough already. I don't doubt you! I…" he stopped himself abruptly.

"You what?" Virgil prompted him, all sane again suddenly.

Gordon looked away.

"It's just… I don't doubt you, okay. When I came back to the cockpit and saw you were asleep, I panicked. I was thinking about Al in the sickbay and you there, and what if something was wrong with you, and what if I couldn't wake you, and how I'd have to fly us all back home, in that mist, all alone. And then I woke up in the infirmary, and you were there, and Alan was there, and I thought for a moment that I will cry with relief."

Gordon started trembling somewhere in the middle and did not stop. Virgil wrapped the blanket around him and studied him for a while.

"So the nightmare is not about you not trusting me to fly you home safely? It's not that you feel like you need to give me directions, or instructions? It's not that you doubt me?"

"I. Don't. Doubt. You!" Gordon said forcefully. Than he hung his had and admitted:

"I doubt myself."

He took in a deep breath, looked at Virgil and continued:

"The nightmare is about me not being able to navigate you right. The nightmare is about _me_ not being able to fly us home safely all by myself. The nightmare is about me being a lousy co-pilot. I should have noticed you were tired. I should have been there for you instead of making fun out of poor Alan. I'm sorry, Virgil."

There were tears forming in Gordon's eyes. Virgil pulled him close and was playing with the hair on the back of Gordon's head while saying:

"It wasn't your fault, Gords. I wouldn't want to be in my company that day, either. And if I wasn't so tired, I would have probably laughed my ass off seeing what Alan managed to do to himself. Now what makes you think you wouldn't fly us home safely? You are _NOT_ a lousy co-pilot!"

Suddenly realization hit Virgil like a bullet. And he felt far worse then before, because now he was sure he was to blame. He never let Gordon fly his 'bird, _he_ always doubted _him_ , threatening him about damaging Thunderbird 2. _Oh no!_

"Shit, Gords…" he hugged his little brother closer and whispered to his ear:

"Look, Brains's got some flying simulator ready for us to train with, we'll start with that. Then we'll be flying, _you_ 'll be flying, with me as surveillance, Thunderbird 2, regularly, so you won't ever loose your grip, ok? I'm sorry I never let you fly. I did not realize… Well, it's a good thing you told me."

Then, with the last hard squeeze, Virgil added:

"I know you won't believe me that, but I love you more than I do my 'bird."

Gordon squeezed back, harder.

"I love you, too. And… thank you, Virg. Thank you so much for understanding it without me telling you. You're right, though, I don't believe you!"

They started laughing and couldn't stop, then they were suddenly both very tired.

"I just hope the nightmare won't come back," Virgil sighed, sobering.

"According to how I'll do at the simulator, I guess," Gordon smiled tiredly. Then he caught Virgil's hand and squeezed. "Thank you for doing this for me, Virg. You don't have to, you know?"

Virgil gave a bitter laugh. "Oh yeah, I do! I should have been doing this the whole time! I'm sorry I didn't."

"'s ok," Gordon mumbled, half asleep. Virgil tucked him in and kissed him on the forehead.

"No more nightmares, little bro. Good night."

Gordon smiled sweetly and Virgil was suddenly looking forward to teaching his little brother to fly.

* * *

Well, I do have a big garden, but I'm not hiding a Thunderbird there… I don't own Thunderbirds ;) But I'm glad Gerry Anderson created them.

 _Ask you a favor? If you find any grammatical mistakes in here, let me know? I'd like to learn from them._


End file.
